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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?